I'm Not A Man Nor Any Fun Unless I Drink/Drug?

I was around some wonderful recovering alcoholics as I was at the tender length of sobriety of three weeks. Two guys who evidentally hadn't gotten sick and tired of being sick and tired said they had a cold case of beer in their trunk and asked me to go drink with them. Luckily I had had enough anguish from drinking alcohol, alcoholically that I said, "No!" They said that "You're not a man unless you drink." I remained to obstain and not too long later I was told,"Anyone can drink! Let's see you quit!" As my now 29+ years of sobriety tells me that Recovering Alcoholics are the strongest/most tough-minded people you will come across! I've known many a Marine who couldn't handle Sobriety! Too bad! And you think a Sober/clean person isn't fun? If you require drugs/alcohol in order to have fun...to me that tells me those who think that way are no fun themselves! If you require drugs/alcohol in order to be fun...what does that say about you? It tells me you're boring all by yourself! And you're psychologically addicted if you think that you "need" pot/drugs in order to be fun. That's called a defect of your personality.
Since I've gotten clean/sober I have fun everyday! My sense of humor returned and everyday I treat myself a little! When I drank/drugged I had no sense of humor, didn't know how to communicate nor had any fun like I have today!

You're kiddin' me!

With all of us previously drinking alcoholics we cheated, lied, stole and would lie so much that if ever in a predicament where we were caught and then would tell the truth and admit our guilt  no one would believe us! In all of this if we ever got lucky and something good would happen to us we would feel as if we didn't deserve it! As a Recovering alcoholic of 29 years sober even though I'm a somewhat honest person and try to be a model citizen when good things happen to me I still feel as though I don't deserve it. I heard an one year sober alcoholic tell me that because he had been so bad when drinking that he now doesn't deserve sobriety. I told him that if he didn't deserve sobriety then the God of his understanding wouldn't keep him sober for over a year! I heard myself that day and told myself that if God felt I didn't deserve something then I wouldn't have it! Today I am having fun and am not doing anything illegal, immoral nor indecent! And, yes, it is fun!

Why So Serious?

When speaking about the alcoholic who is in the process of sobering up or whether they are in Recovery and needs to feel the spirit of Recovery, what the alcoholic will most likely respond to is earnestness. Define "earnestness" : that being: "serious intensity". As an alcoholic in Recovery, I often engage in earnestness and no one but another alcoholic will engage with me. For me, carrying the message of Recovery is so important to me that I automatically profess it with dead serious  intensity. For this is a matter of life or death whete if someone like me relapses, meaning I drink alcohol, that which has happened to others who drank! Like: one lady because she decided to drink "a beer" within a couple of months she was still drinking (alcoholically) she got a revolver stuck the barrel in her mouthand pullef the trigger. She met her Makerthat day, damn it! Another who began hanging out at bars, because of the close proximity between his hand and (I'll say it again) "a beer" within three weeks he died of a barbituate overdose. You see why I don't have as many friends as I'd like! Me? Why didn't I "keep them from drinking?" Because they didn't ask me for help...which would have included a great dose of earnestness...BEFORE THEY DRANK THAT FIRST BEER! Believe me, I miss people whom have died because they drank...heartbreakers! See why I so much push earnestness at those I love who are still sober?

Sober For Good?

As I'm a Recovering Alcoholic ("Recovering" meaning sober) since 1984 I have encountered many case managers who were employed to apply therapy to me and my other mental illnesses (alcoholism and drug addiction are considered mental illnesses as well) of schizophrenia/bipolar whom had absolutely no training in addiction and alcoholism yet were telling me to "...comply!" quiet forcefully when talking about my mental illnesses of schizophrenia/bipolar. I resisted the temptation to tell these case managers exactly where to stick it for this is my mind, my body and my life and no one has the right to order me around! That is, unless I break the law and I now do nothing illegal, immoral nor indecent due to those beautiful other Recovering alcoholics in my life! Instead of revolting verbally with these case managers I began to kindly teach them about Recovery from alcoholism/addiction. Especially about the thought that was prevalent and also incorrect that: "...once an alcoholic/addict gets clean from drugs/sober then that's the end of it! When actually the alcoholic/addict must continue to work his/her butt off in order to stay in Recovery! Plus, when ordered around the alcoholic (sober or not) the alcoholic will revolt and go do exactly what he/she was ordered not to do! It's, first of all, the nature of an alcoholic (addict, as well) and second, the nature of a free citizen of The United States of America! Of which I am both!

An Unpopular Position...Or Is It?

As a now Recovering alcoholic/drug addict I never once drank alcohol socially plus from day 1 of smoking pot I couldn't get enough which led to harder, stronger drugs like heroin and cocaine. Believe me, it was never really fun when compared to now being in Recovery from those chemicals. Here comes the probably "unpopular" part. As I remember being loaded for nearly 15 years continuously I can recall some individuals who I partied with that would nurse one beer all night and would smoke pot probably once in every six months. My point? I believe, just like a social drinker that there is such a critter as a social pot smoker. America has already proven that outlawing alcohol didn't work with prohibition. Now, how well are we doing in outlawing pot? How many nonviolent pot smokers do we have to pay, what $100/day to keep in prison?
Why not leagalize marijuana? Have our Government grow it, sell it, control it, tax the hell out of it which will prevent the drug dealer as we now know it?
Just a thought! I will say that even if legalized I do not plan on smoking pot again just like I do not plan on drinking alcohol again, God willing! And I do mean God's Will which is how I stay clean and sober one day at a time!

How To Sober Up A Drinking Alcoholic In One Tough Lesson

I've had people ask me how to "get" a drinking alcoholic to attain sobriety...for good. My first response is that it normally comes from a Power Greater than us all. The alcoholic must ask that (his/her) Higher Power who makes sense to him/her to relieve them of their alcoholism. Sound easy? What I will tell you is that the drinking alcoholic must be allowed to hurt so damn bad that they're willing to ask for help, and not just for long enough to "get the heat off of his/her back," but to ask for help where the alcoholic will do whatever it will take to get/stay sober. Personally, when I sobered up it was cause I hurt like crazy and was told to look for other sober alcoholics who knew what the alcoholic needed to do to live sober. If your alcoholic asks for help and expresses the desire to get/stay sober I suggest calling any mental health clinic, ask if they know how to contact these previous drinking alcoholics who have discovered Sobriety and the clinic should be pleased to give you these now sober alcoholics contact innformation...for free! Because I did that on April 28, 1984 I found and am continuing to maintain happy sobriety since that date! No, it isn't always easy except when compared to active drinking! One little note here: the alcoholic must be the one doing what's necessary to live in Sobriety, others cannot do it for him/her. So, please find the contact info for the alcoholic and give them the opportunity to help themselves. Then, all us loved ones of the alcoholic can then do is leave it to the Higher Power/Power Greater Than Us/that which I choose to call God...whatever works for you and whatever works for the alcoholic. Good luck! But I don't believe in sheer luck!

Happy, Happy Birthday!

On April 28, 1984 ,  I was sick and tired of being sick and tired of drugs, booze and though I had no idea of it, but I had mental illnesses I decided to check myself into a halfway house for Recovering alcoholics/addicts and those with mental illnesses. That's my sobriety/clean/in recovery from mental illness birthday, 29 years ago. I decided to get into Recovery because I hurt like Hell and was told that if I stayed in Recovery my life will get better. They were right! I've seen many a Dually-Diagnosed (mental or emotional disorder and drugs and/or alcoholism) individual say that "I didn't get into Recovery to be miserable!" I tend to, mostly, agree with that, but a lot of people when they go through tough times they will relapse. Many of us who relapse will die due to it and a more sad fact is that they take others out with them! Folks? We have got to do something about the situation that I just mentioned! A thought we may interject into the thinking of those like me who are going through tough times is "Stay in Recovery, don't do anything stupid and on the day those tough times are gone, you'll still be Sober/clean and alive and a free man. Plus, you won't feel horrible because you would not have hurt anyone and you won't have the Law chasing you. If you or your friend or person you've observed whom is obviously struggling you can refer them to the police/mental health facility.They will eventually be referred to people like me and I will tell them that I've been just like them and now I'm pleased as punch to be clean/sober/in Recovery by taking my meds and absolutely love life. Plus, I love damn near everyone and I will not cause anyone harm plus I've talked over 20 people out of suicide, I love being a model citizen. I love Recovery!

Bullying Or Helping Into Recovery?

If those who have mental illnesses are made fun of and bullied instead of given loving guidance for them to seek help then those with the mental illness may, and I said " may", hurt themselves or others. I asked for help for a problem with drugs when attending college and discovered that I had been born with several mental illnesses. Almost all of my childhood I had been bullied for I was "different" than the other children and I often wished I would die. Plus, I'm not trying to scare anyone here, but I've known how to make a bomb since I was twelve years old and today am pleased that I'm naturally docile. Not everyone with a mental illness is docile if bullied. Of those with mental illnesses in society, as is now known of grade school children, if preturbed enough are more likely to act out and hurt themselves if not others. What I suggest to anyone who knows someone who appears to be struggling with a potential mental illness and doesn't appear violent is to suggest to them in a kind, gentle way that there are people who,"...know a lot about ways for them to get to feeling better."  And, if they appear to want that type of help then do some research and get the telephone number of a mental health clinic and call them to arrange an interview with a doctor for the individual. You may not just save the person's mental health, but a life/lives as well!

Ouch!

 I see how much rougher I've had it in pre and young Recovery than those who have more recently been diagnosed as alcoholics/addicts with mental illness(s). As I am quite pleased that we've been able to "raise the bottom" that us Dually-Diagnosed must endure in order to seek Recovery. Still, people like us must "hit a bottom", meaning experience the type of unmanageability in life which causes people with the drug/alcohol/mental illness so much pain and suffering that we reach out for help. My observation of many a mental health care professional facility has noticed that those who receive such services from psychiatrists, social workers/therapists/case managers has resulted in several potential dangers, as I will note one main one here. The fact that hitting bottom as I have spoke of here when us Dually Diagnosed have received care when their bottom is not as painful as years past I applaud this newer health care technology, except for one thing. That being many who have not hurt as bad as this older Dually-Diagnosed individual, when that person is tempted to drink/drug/quit taking their psyciatric medications, they have no "burning memories" of how awful it was before Recovery. The usual result? Relapse. The type of relapse that causes death of the one who relapses or they can, yes, hurt others! Damn it! My bottoms, yes people like me can survive relapse, got to be so horrible that when I, now in Recovery of 20 plus years, consider relapse, my roommate/Sponsor or just on my own reminds me of that sheer horror of what active drinking alcoholically, using drugs, combined with my several different mental illnesses was like! If I'm honest with myself of what it was like I have little problems in staying in Recovery. If one like me has no sheer hell to remember, relapse is so much easier. By the way, it is "suggested" to never relapse, about like the rip-cord on a parachute. When you jump out of the airplane @ 15,000 feet it is suggested you pull that rip-cord, but you don't have to!

Love From A Power Greater Than Me

 As I go along in Recovery I need to remember how rough life was before and early on as I became a self-diagnosed alcoholic and drug addict plus my mental illnesses had been diagnosed by a psychiatrist. I found it all hard to swallow and stomach. Today, some nearly 28 years into successful Recovery what I seem to think are tough problems I compare to the truely rough spot I came from. I can see how problems I now have are nothing but inconveniences. I didn't get into Recovery to be miserable, but know better than to relapse when problems occur in my life. To act out negatively will make only a harder life to have to live through. My recent problems will get worked out and get solved. I must not do anything stupid and I know whst stupid is. I actually have a good life and every life will have problems. With help I solve these small problems and then am rewarded with a proper feeling of satisfaction. Life is a series of solving problems and feeling damn good about it all!

Charles R. Smith II

In my time of life before I was on the literal path of Recovery I was forced to live through physical, financial and severe emotional hardships, this being at the age of 13. Life's situations back then took me through that suffering, taught me to live through it and taught me that if I were to just hang in there and try to accomplish victory over those many problems then better times would come. Since then, much more recent, I have seen how many people at the ages of 20 plus years come to suffer with a different set of hardships, that, yes I had to endure, they hadn't my early life victories and these poor people didn't realise that their suffering could be overcome. I, though, since my childhood difficulties, once I was faced with another set of difficulties I knew to hang in there, do the next right thing and now I'm clean, sober and happily in Recovery from mental and emotional disorders! Those poor folk who didn't even try Recovery are now, I believe, facing their Higher Power trying to explain themselves and how they decided to not choose Recovery. To me these people I call heartbreakers. They purposely chose to continue on in their disease and all I can do is pray for them plus for Recovery for the next fellow sufferer. Me? I'm now getting old, maturing and continue to get happier all through my Recovery. Charles R. Smith II